Friday, January 05, 2007
Self Control
You don't hear that word used much anymore do you?
Instead of hearing that children don't have "self control" we are todl they are acting out. Acting out? Does that mean we can allow them to say anything they want any time they want because they don't like something?
So if we allow them to do that where does reasoning come in?
Three year olds can't be reasoned with. They have to be told no, and the reason is that the adult tells them no. Or to translate it into parent talk, "Because I said so."
That's not a punishment or a cop out. It's a way to tell kids that what they want isn't alwys the most important thing int he world, and if they don't like it they have to learn to control their emotions or emotional behavior in acting out.
I think the word self control should be returned to the active vocabulary of today's parents. When you teach a child self control you teach them that cursing isn't right, that hitting isn't right, that fighting isn't right and eventually they realize that cheating on tests, bullying others, overeating, lying to get what you want, and even premarital sex is something you can control.
If you have the self control to see things in life are not allabout YOU then you learn to live well with others.
Self Control. Let's bring it back.
Instead of hearing that children don't have "self control" we are todl they are acting out. Acting out? Does that mean we can allow them to say anything they want any time they want because they don't like something?
So if we allow them to do that where does reasoning come in?
Three year olds can't be reasoned with. They have to be told no, and the reason is that the adult tells them no. Or to translate it into parent talk, "Because I said so."
That's not a punishment or a cop out. It's a way to tell kids that what they want isn't alwys the most important thing int he world, and if they don't like it they have to learn to control their emotions or emotional behavior in acting out.
I think the word self control should be returned to the active vocabulary of today's parents. When you teach a child self control you teach them that cursing isn't right, that hitting isn't right, that fighting isn't right and eventually they realize that cheating on tests, bullying others, overeating, lying to get what you want, and even premarital sex is something you can control.
If you have the self control to see things in life are not allabout YOU then you learn to live well with others.
Self Control. Let's bring it back.
